Now What?, Part 1

OK, if dating is dangerous, what should we do instead?

First off, let me tell you something. Dating has not been around for that long. Yep. It's true! Your great grandmother or great great grandmother would not have dated. Don't worry; dating's not the only way to get to know a boy.


Second, remember that I re-stated the question.

"If you are not planning to get married to the boy, is dating dangerous?"

Remember the answer? (if not, click here: Is Dating Dangerous? Part 2)It was YES. Why? Do you recall the princess, or (if it does not make you too hungry), the cake? (click here if you do not: Is Dating Dangerous? Part 1). Those blog posts warned you about the dangers of dating if you are not planning on marrying him. I suppose you could still date someone if you mean to marry him, but keep in mind what one of our thoughtful readers commented:

(NOTE: bold and italic were added in.)

"Excellent observations! I have something to add. I was reading an advice column a few months ago, and someone wrote in that they couldn't get over being dumped by their boyfriend. The advisor wrote back, saying that she should get used to it because breaking up is just part of dating. A lot of people defend dating by saying that the boyfriend and girlfriend are just practicing being married, so when they do marry someone, they'll have a good relationship. However, if breaking up is a part of 'practice', then they will simply be practicing how to break up. Also, when you do marry, how do you think your husband/wife will feel when you tell them that you've told someone else you loved them by dating them. That will not make for a good marriage." - Izori, a author on this blog

She made an excellent point! So, what I said before, dating is dangerous, and here is another point too; you will see the boy in a romantic light.

What do I mean by that?

Have you ever gone to a store and your mom say "Be on your best behavior. You are representing our family."? Or "Behave; first impressions are very important." or something to that effect? Well, that is also what I mean by "you will see the boy in a romantic light". The boy knows that this is a date and he is going to be on his best behavior. Naturally, he wants to impress you. And you want to impress him. Let me testify that we all have our "bad" days. We feel "under the weather" or "out of sorts"; that happens. We are humans; we are not perfect. But, to bring us back to the point, if the boy sees you only in a romantic atmosphere he will be offended or (perhaps) shocked at the way you actually act on your normal behavior. I am not criticizing your behavior, but how you act on a date is going to be different than how you act when you are not on one. And, likewise, you will be amazed at how he actually acts when he is not giving you flowers or cards or calling you "his girlfriend".

To simplify it:

Have you ever heard of rose colored glasses (I know, I always seem to go back to roses! ;)?
If not here is a picture of one:

You see how the lenses are pink? That makes it look like everything is pink and resembles the color of hearts, candy, cotton candy, and so one. Everything sweet and joyful.

To shorten the simplified version: rose colored glasses make everything look like "La La Land" ("La La Land" is a term I use to say that everything is "A-okay" or "perfect" with little rabbits jumping in a meadow while the daisies have cute baby faces and sing high-pitched songs).

How is this like dating?

Well, you see the boy like you have rose colored glasses on; sweet, perfect, and totally "La La Landish".

In short, your dream date.

But would he be your dream husband?