Being Yoked

"I just know I've met my Prince Charming! He's so perfect for me! We've been getting to know each other for a year and we like the same stuff and everything!!!" said Melissa.

"That's great! I'm glad you can finally pursue a relationship!!! Where does he go to church, and how long has he been a Christian?" asked Melissa's best friend, Courtney.

"Oh, he doesn't go to church. In fact, he has another religion or something. We don't talk about it much."

Whoah! Something's wrong with this picture, and a lot of us probably know what it is. Melissa is so excited about this guy and is convinced that he's the one, but he doesn't go to church (red flag #1), he is involved in some other religion (red flag #2), and they haven't talked much about this topic at all, even though they've been getting to know each other for a year (red flag #3)!!! Hmmm, doesn't sound like a safe relationship to me!

Now you may be saying, "I don't get what the big deal is. Sure, it would be helpful if they would both be of the same faith, but certainly it would work out somehow!" This is a big deal! This is one of the first things you must find out about the person you pursue a relationship with! You need to both be followers of Jesus. Why? A couple of reasons:

1) The Bible says that we should not marry someone who doesn't share our beliefs. "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?" (2 Corinthians 6:14-15, NIV)

2) If your spouse doesn't share your faith, they can lead you away from God. "King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh's daughter-Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians, and Hittites. He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray. As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his God, as the heart of David his father had been. He followed Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and Molech the detestable god of the Ammonites. So Solomon did evil in the eyes of the LORD; he did not follow the LORD completely, as David his father had done." (1 Kings 11:1, 3-6, NIV) Now this passage does not mean that we should not marry foreigners to our country; no, it means we shouldn't marry foreigners to our faith, who are people who don't share our commitment to Christ. As you can see, Solomon married women from other nations, which God had actually commanded the Israelites not to do (1 Kings 11:2), and those women turned Solomon away from God, so that he was not wholeheartedly devoted to the LORD.

I want to go back and make mention on the third red flag: that Melissa and her "boyfriend" didn't often talk about God, or what they believed. It is very important that you don't make this mistake in your relationships, and that you do discover what the other person believes. You need to talk about this not just to know what faith the other has, but to then build your friendship and relationship around that shared faith in God. Hopefully, then, that will carry into your marriage (if you end up marrying that person or marrying at all!), and your marriage will be Christ-centered as well.

~Princess Gloria