Is Dating Dangerous? Part 1

"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"
Jeremiah 17:9

It happens all around us. You here people talking about their cute "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" or you see them constantly texting each other -even if they are standing directly next to each other. You see them hugging and acting as if that person is the world to them. Their little brothers and/or sisters talk to you about "my big brother's girlfriend" or "my big sister's boyfriend". Sometimes you even can here "boyfriends" or "girlfriends". Yes, that is plural.


Why, at the beginning did I put boyfriend and girlfriend in parenthesis? Well, according to dictionary.com, the definition of "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" is this:

Girlfriend: a frequent or favorite female companion; sweetheart, a female friend

Boyfriend: a frequent or favorite male companion, a male friend, a male lover

How many times does a girl say that she "loves" her boyfriend? But how many times do you think she means it? Most of the time (in fact, a lot of the time) boyfriends and girlfriends plan not to get married, or, at least, not get married for the next three, four, or five years.

When standing in the checkout line at the grocery store, the man waiting in front of us was talking on his cellphone loudly. His conversation went something like this:

"Yes, my nephew is on his eighth girlfriend this month. No, that's not his record. He's dumped and got eleven new girls in one month. Yeah, the longest he's stayed with one is a week. No! I'm telling the truth. Ask him yourself."

The conversation went on for another three minutes like this, but, needless to say, the point is proven. That boy never "loved" any of those girls. How could he? Later in the conversation the man said that his nephew was fourteen. How could anyone -especially a 14 year old who is not planning on marrying for at least four or five more years- love seven or eight girlfriends a month. If you say that his average "girlfriend rate" is seven girlfriends a month, multiply that by 12 and you have 84 girlfriends a year! Now, what is the possibility of girlfriends and boyfriends still dating in five, four, or even three years when they switch boyfriends or girlfriends each month? Pretty slim, wouldn't you agree?

Sarah Malley, author of the book "Before you Meet Prince Charming" (which I highly recommend!) writes this in the chapter "Reserved for One".

"Suppose you make a beautiful birthday cake. It was a rich chocolate cake with homemade vanilla frosting. You spent all afternoon taking the time to make sure it was flawless. You decorated it carefully with frosting, flowers, leaves, and lettering, and added a few cherries for the final touch. Then, enjoying the aroma of freshly baked chocolate cake, you left it on the counter so that it would be ready for the birthday party.
Then suppose I came along, saw the cake, and feeling a little hungry, decided to cut a piece for myself. Just as I was eating my last bite, you returned to the counter and found your beautiful cake-with a piece missing. So much for all your work making sure each detail of every flower looked perfect. As far as you are concerned, the cake is ruined. There's not time to make a new one. How will it look when you serve it at the party? After all your meticulous work to make it just perfect, how would you feel about my careless attitude?
What if I suggested that you bake another piece of cake to fill in the empty space? Obviously, my advice would irritate you even more.
"Of course not," you'd say. "The cake is ruined. It will never look the same again."

- Sarah Malley in the book "Before You Meet Prince Charming",

In the chapter "Reserved for One".

Or here is another picture. Imagine that you are a Princess. Some of you might be thinking
"Um, sorry, but I don't want to be a princess. All they do is sip tea (and I don't like tea!) dance (I don't know how to dance!), and stare out the window (boring!)."

But that is not what a princess does at all! They keep the castle running, give advice to the king (of the castle) and is the softer and compassionate side towards the subjects of the kingdom. They also will (when they become queen) care for the future ruler of the kingdom; the little prince or princess. They hold the future in their arms! That's less than boring, right?

OK, now, back to being a princess.

What would happen if a princess was seen hugging, sending letters (they didn't have texting back then), and even kissing a fellow prince? The king would probably think "Oh this is great, we can unite them in marriage and unite the prince's and our country! This will be great!".

But what would happen if the princess "ditched" that prince the next day and found another prince or a handsome knight? That princess would be (if unintentionally) dividing the kingdom and making enemies with all those countries of the princes (or knights) she ditched.

How?

The kingdom would be divided because people have opinions. One half of the country might think "She had every right to dump him. He wasn't handsome enough for her!" or some excuse like that. The other half would say "She should not be flirting with every prince like she was going to marry him! She could cause a war!" and they would be right. Most people don't like being "ditched", especially princes who usually get whatever they want. The princess would then be turning the countries against her country or, in other words, turn the countries that would once be allies, enemies. The princes/knights might even fight with the other princes/knights because they think "if I can win _____ then I can win the Princess's favor." And what happens if she dumps a prince/knight each month? That would be 12 princes (or 12 kingdoms) getting angry. She would be dividing other kingdoms as well as dividing her own and making the princes' countries not become allies with her country.

Big effect hu?