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- Princess Catherine ~*~

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Is Dating Dangerous? Part 1

"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"
Jeremiah 17:9

It happens all around us. You here people talking about their cute "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" or you see them constantly texting each other -even if they are standing directly next to each other. You see them hugging and acting as if that person is the world to them. Their little brothers and/or sisters talk to you about "my big brother's girlfriend" or "my big sister's boyfriend". Sometimes you even can here "boyfriends" or "girlfriends". Yes, that is plural.

Why, at the beginning did I put boyfriend and girlfriend in parenthesis? Well, according to, the definition of "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" is this:

Girlfriend: a frequent or favorite female companion; sweetheart, a female friend

Boyfriend: a frequent or favorite male companion, a male friend, a male lover

How many times does a girl say that she "loves" her boyfriend? But how many times do you think she means it? Most of the time (in fact, a lot of the time) boyfriends and girlfriends plan not to get married, or, at least, not get married for the next three, four, or five years.

When standing in the checkout line at the grocery store, the man waiting in front of us was talking on his cellphone loudly. His conversation went something like this:

"Yes, my nephew is on his eighth girlfriend this month. No, that's not his record. He's dumped and got eleven new girls in one month. Yeah, the longest he's stayed with one is a week. No! I'm telling the truth. Ask him yourself."

The conversation went on for another three minutes like this, but, needless to say, the point is proven. That boy never "loved" any of those girls. How could he? Later in the conversation the man said that his nephew was fourteen. How could anyone -especially a 14 year old who is not planning on marrying for at least four or five more years- love seven or eight girlfriends a month. If you say that his average "girlfriend rate" is seven girlfriends a month, multiply that by 12 and you have 84 girlfriends a year! Now, what is the possibility of girlfriends and boyfriends still dating in five, four, or even three years when they switch boyfriends or girlfriends each month? Pretty slim, wouldn't you agree?

Sarah Malley, author of the book "Before you Meet Prince Charming" (which I highly recommend!) writes this in the chapter "Reserved for One".

"Suppose you make a beautiful birthday cake. It was a rich chocolate cake with homemade vanilla frosting. You spent all afternoon taking the time to make sure it was flawless. You decorated it carefully with frosting, flowers, leaves, and lettering, and added a few cherries for the final touch. Then, enjoying the aroma of freshly baked chocolate cake, you left it on the counter so that it would be ready for the birthday party.
Then suppose I came along, saw the cake, and feeling a little hungry, decided to cut a piece for myself. Just as I was eating my last bite, you returned to the counter and found your beautiful cake-with a piece missing. So much for all your work making sure each detail of every flower looked perfect. As far as you are concerned, the cake is ruined. There's not time to make a new one. How will it look when you serve it at the party? After all your meticulous work to make it just perfect, how would you feel about my careless attitude?
What if I suggested that you bake another piece of cake to fill in the empty space? Obviously, my advice would irritate you even more.
"Of course not," you'd say. "The cake is ruined. It will never look the same again."
- Sarah Malley in the book "Before You Meet Prince Charming",
In the chapter "Reserved for One".

Or here is another picture. Imagine that you are a Princess. Some of you might be thinking
"Um, sorry, but I don't want to be a princess. All they do is sip tea (and I don't like tea!) dance (I don't know how to dance!), and stare out the window (boring!)."

But that is not what a princess does at all! They keep the castle running, give advice to the king (of the castle) and is the softer and compassionate side towards the subjects of the kingdom. They also will (when they become queen) care for the future ruler of the kingdom; the little prince or princess. They hold the future in their arms! That's less than boring, right?

OK, now, back to being a princess.

What would happen if a princess was seen hugging, sending letters (they didn't have texting back then), and even kissing a fellow prince? The king would probably think "Oh this is great, we can unite them in marriage and unite the prince's and our country! This will be great!".

But what would happen if the princess "ditched" that prince the next day and found another prince or a handsome knight? That princess would be (if unintentionally) dividing the kingdom and making enemies with all those countries of the princes (or knights) she ditched.


The kingdom would be divided because people have opinions. One half of the country might think "She had every right to dump him. He wasn't handsome enough for her!" or some excuse like that. The other half would say "She should not be flirting with every prince like she was going to marry him! She could cause a war!" and they would be right. Most people don't like being "ditched", especially princes who usually get whatever they want. The princess would then be turning the countries against her country or, in other words, turn the countries that would once be allies, enemies. The princes/knights might even fight with the other princes/knights because they think "if I can win _____ then I can win the Princess's favor." And what happens if she dumps a prince/knight each month? That would be 12 princes (or 12 kingdoms) getting angry. She would be dividing other kingdoms as well as dividing her own and making the princes' countries not become allies with her country.

Big effect hu?


  1. Excellent observations! I have something to add.

    I was reading an advice column a few months ago, and someone wrote in that they couldn't get over being dumped by their boyfriend. The advisor wrote back, saying that she should get used to it because breaking up is just part of dating.

    A lot of people defend dating by saying that the boyfriend and girlfriend are just practicing being married, so when they do marry someone, they'll have a good relationship. However, if breaking up is a part of 'practice', then they will simply be practicing how to break up.

    Also, when you do marry, how do you think your husband/wife will feel when you tell them that you've told someone else you loved them by dating them. That will *not* make for a good marriage.


  2. I totally agree, most people dating have no intentions of staying together in the long term. So why date. Well because it can sometimes be fun... but only for the moment. But later in life your marriage could suffer, because of what seemed like harmless fun, but its not harmless. Not only can dating cause problems in the future, it can hurt now. Breakups can be devastating to some girls. They act like it didn't bother them, but it usually does.

    I was with a friend of mine when her boyfriend broke up with her. He wanted to date a more popular girl. He asked are you okay with this? She just said yeah I'm fine, but she wasn't. She was crying, she wanted to know what was so wrong with her, that he didn't want to date her. Her confidence level went way down, and her self respect went way down.

    Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." God has great plans for you. Stick with His plans. He WONT HARM YOU and he will give you a FUTURE. So trust Him.

  3. Your totally right...! ^__^

    Wow... that's a great post. :)

  4. Well said and so true! The fact that dating does involve breaking up is one reason that I disagree (with dating). And another thing...If dating is practicing "breaking up", then what is that teaching our society when they get married? No wonder the divorce rate has skyrocketed so much, even within the church. Marriage is a picture of God's relationship with us. When you "break up" it's like saying marriage and commitement aren't worth it anymore!
    I have read Sarah Mally's When You Meet Prince Charming as well. I totally agree with your recomendation of the book!