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~*1 John 4:7*~

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.


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- Princess Catherine ~*~

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Do Crushes Crush? And How Do I Get Over One?

This post was written for the person that commented as "Anonymous" on the post
"The Treaty Contest, A Note After the Poetry Contest".
I (Catherine) hope it helps you and others too! :)

Isn't it kinda strange that the word we use when we like (that type of like) someone is called a crush?

Crush (verb with object)- to press or squeeze with a force that destroys or deforms; to force out by pressing or squeezing.

How did crush (the meaning above) become the word that we like someone? And how can we get over one?

For the first question, I (Catherine) don't have an answer. If you (the reader or readers) have an idea, please leave a comment!

For the second question, notice I did not say "And if we get a crush, how do we get over them" I said (or typed) "And how can we get over one". All of us will get one a one point. It's how we are created. If we didn't want like someone at one point, we wouldn't want to marry. And if we wouldn't want to marry, there would be no babies, no "miniatures" of our spouse. And if there are no babies, there are no humans. But the question is not who we will get a crush on, it's what we will do with it?

Here are some tips on how to get over a crush:

1. Don't Put Any Pictures of Your Crush In Your Room
Whether this means on the wall, in a frame, school picture and so on, don't hang the picture up or have it so you can see it. When you see the picture, you will think of the person and you might go back to the event that the picture happened. Then you will start getting thoughts like "Oh, I remember when ______ and I did ______ together! He was so sweet and nice!" or "He looks so handsome! Oh! He and I have the same color eyes!" (Seriously, I have heard a girl say this before!)

2. Don't Talk About Him to Your Friends
You might not like this, but girls have told me from experience that they got over a crush but when their friend asked how she and her crush were doing, she started thinking about him again. The friend did it unintentionally, but it still had the same effect. Avoiding talking to your friends about the "someone special" will help. Especially don't talk to your friends and call him your "boyfriend" because in your mind, that is what he will become.

You CAN however, ask them to pray for you. Ask them to pray that you keep your thoughts, words, and actions pure. But I would advise against telling them his name.

3. Be Practical
Does he fit all of your requirements? And if he does, think about this. If you are 20 or younger, you are not ready to get married, right?
And what about what your family thinks of him? Does your brother think he is a jerk? Does your sister think that he has a quality that is less than desirable in a future husband? Does your dad agree with having him as a future son-in-law? And what about your mom?

4. When You Think of Him, Pray
This point has helped may young ladies I have been around. Sarah Malley, in her book "Before You Meet Prince Charming" (a book I strongly recommend reading!) talks about reciting a scripture verse in your head (such as Matthew 5:8 or 1 Timothy 4:12). Another thing that I would recommend is have a prayer for someone when you think of your crush (and I don't mean praying for your crush).
For example, if someone you know is in the hospital, every time you think of your crush you can pray for the person in the hospital.

5. Don't Show Him You Like Him
Don't go up to him and say you like him. Don't start talking about crushes to him. Then he will start thinking of you as a crush (or girlfriend) and may decide that he likes you, but may not yet want to go as far as getting to know you as a future spouse. Don't give him your phone number so he can call/text you because this will also encourage the girlfriend/boyfriend thing. This might be hard for some, and easy for others, but remember your crush will go away sooner if you do this!

But what if I don't want to get rid of my crush?

First off, this thought is selfish.
If you are not old enough to be thinking of a husband, you are basically asking him to date you for no reason except for you to have fun NOW.

Second, the crush is distracting you from serving The King of Kings!
My family and I were sitting behind a group of teenagers with cell phones in Church. The pastor of our church was giving his sermon and the teens were obviously not paying attention. They were to busy texting and replying to texts from their boyfriend and girlfriend that they were missing the sermon. When the pastor asked us to pray with him, we could hear the clicking of their fingers tapping their cell phone's keyboard to text back a message. Now that I think back on it, the sermon was about being worshipers and not just observers on the outside. "Don't Just Go Though the Motions" was the theme of the whole sermon!

And third, a crush is not healthy if you are not old enough to be considering marriage.
It will chew away at you and direct your thoughts at that person instead of directing your thoughts at God, ways to serve Him, and others. Keeping it will only make it worse.

Crush- to force out by pressing or squeezing

So I suppose the word "crush" is correct for the term "I like someone". It forces (or squeezes) any thought of anyone else- The King or other wise- out of your head. It makes that person the center of your life.

Keep Praying and good luck to those who struggle!

Princess Catherine

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