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~*1 John 4:7*~

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.


If you put "confusing" in the box at the bottom of this post, please comment on how you were confused and my team and I will try and clear things up so you won't be confused any longer! :)
- Princess Catherine ~*~

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Four Questions From A Reader

Dear Readers,

This is a post reply to a few questions that one of our readers had about courting vs dating, an courting and dating in general. Instead of answering in a comment, we answered in a post because of two things. First, our answer (as you can see) is long. It wouldn't fit in a comment. And second, our reader had some questions, questions you might have yourself. In this post we hope to answer some of those questions.


Princess Catherine ~*~
Princess Izori
Princess Melody
Princess Gloria
Princess Sapphire
Princess Jade
Princess Alicia

The Comment:

Alright I am really confused about some things. Hopefully you'll be able to help me (:

Ok, one, if something is "old", (Like courting) and something "new" (Dating, in your opinion) is available, why not use the "new" (dating)? You used the "mailbox and door" example, but really a door is plain and boring, so is a mailbox, and in my opinion so is courting. Why court when you can date?

Two, dating really isn't "new". It's been around for awhile and most people don't even know what courting is. I asked my friends if they've ever heard f courting and most of them said either, "No." or "OMG! Yea I've heard of it! Ew!!" Or something to that effect. So I don't really think dating is a "trend" I think most people don't know what courting is or they think it's boring... Any thoughts?

Three, is there a reason you attack dating consistently? You said there are only two "benifits". I'm sorry but I can not agree. All dating ISN'T bad, I've actually dated some really great guys. Christian guys with good morals. Anyway, I believe there are more "benifits" than just those two. People USUALLY love their bf's/gf's (: It's not just a fun "party" if you will.

Sorry if I sound like I'm attacking your veiws, I'm not trying to I'm just confused about why you are so against dating. So could you answer these questions for me?(:

1. Why court when you can date? Dating is a ton funner.

2. What are the benifits of courting versus dating?

3. Are you against dating all together? Not all dating is bad.

4. Do you think perhaps dating has any REAL benifits in your opinion?

That's all for now. Thank's so much! :D (Again I appologize if I offended you, I am NOT trying to attack your views. :) )

Our Answer:

1. Why court when you can date? Dating is a ton funner.

In our culture, dating seems to be short-term, while courting is more of a long-term commitment.
It can also be hurtful. Dating can easily get you off track in your walk in purity. Since we are like
rosebuds, we have to wait 'til we fully open; if we don't, each time you give your heart away it's like
plucking a petal off your flower, then you won't bloom properly. In dating, this is so easy to do, where
as courting is different. In courting, the guy who asks your family if he can get to know you, and (if they
say yes) they know that he is planning to marry you. They also know that he is not giving his heart to
someone else and hurting you or vice versa. Plus he has to pass all the standards of your whole family
and that is an extra guard. This isn't all about fun. Fun can be deadly, most of the time figuratively, but
sometimes in reality as well.

Has anyone else heard about the dating violence that has killed many teens? In these cases, the parents
were not informed of behavior that was hints of the violence to follow because, like the 'traditional'
dating method, the dating couple was unattended. In 'traditional' dating, two people go out to
the movies, a restaurant, or some other place without their parents. Thus, the parents know nothing of
what goes on between the two, including violence and ungodly behavior. Sure, there are some great guys
who date, and there are also some not-so-great guys. I'm not saying that any guy you date is awful, but
you can run into a “bad apple”...with tragic results. Yes, dating can be fun. Dating definitely is popular.
But is it wise? Think of 'crack' or 'pot'. Is taking those drugs fun? According to addicts, it sure is. Is it
popular? Sadly, yes. Is it dangerous? It can be lethal, not to mention it is illegal. Of course, there are
important differences. Dating only has the potential to be dangerous, where as taking drugs is basically
killing yourself. Dating isn't illegal, where as drugs are.

Ultimately, all girls have a right to make their own personal choices about dating.
But my thoughts are headed towards lots of prayer and a close involvement with my parents and brothers
(when God brings my future husband into my life).

2 .What are the benefits of courting versus dating?

We have a post that talks about the list of the benefits courting has to offer. Click here for the post. It is in two parts, so to read the first part click here. We also had a post that was directly before these
two posts that are mentioned, and they are

Is Dating Dangerous? Part 1 and Is Dating Dangerous? Part 2

. I hope they help answer this question that you asked. If not, we will be happy to help you more. :)

3. Are you against dating all together? Not all dating is bad.

It depends on the definition.
If it means “a meeting with someone of the opposite gender who you really know nothing about, without
your or their parents”, then I say it's dangerous and foolish. On the other hand, "dating" when both parties
are serious about a relationship is "fine" in my opinion, but just for fun can be not such a good idea. And
if you know that the other person is trustworthy and won't do anything that will put you (or them) at risk,
not to mention your parents are okay with you being with them and, even better, are in attendance, then I
say it's fine. As a matter of fact, I think that sounds a bit like courting! :)

4. Do you think perhaps dating has any REAL benefits in your opinion?

You asked if there was a reason we were attacking dating constantly. We are not 'attacking' dating. We
are speaking out against it and offering a better solution. Dating might have some benefits, but we think
that overall dating can be hurtful and you can give away pieces of your heart. With dating, you won't keep
your heart as guarded as one could when you're courting. In our opinion, dating doesn't make much sense.
Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone when you either don't plan on marrying them
or aren't ready to make the commitment yet? Yes, it may be more private without the chaperons breathing
down your neck, but honestly (in our opinion) that's not enough of a benefit to be willing to compromise
your safety.

Thank you again for your questions and honest comments!



  1. Thanks for that post. Those kind of posts really let me know that there are others out there who have decided not to date, as I am. I'm reading this book 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye' by Josh Harris and would totally recommend it to anyone. I've also heard that the 'sequel', 'Boy Meets Girl', also by Josh Harris (this one's about courtship) is really good to read too. Try to get your hands on a copy of both books, I know you'll probably like it.

  2. Thanks so much! You really answered my questions! I can't say I'm all for courting now, but I deffinitly have a clearer and more informed look at both sides of the courting discussion. Thank you!!

  3. Wow! You did an awesome job answering that question!
    Princess Melody***