List Your Requirements. . .

. . . and keep them there!


Do not give in to anyone who wants you to compromise on your requirements for your future husband! These will allow you to know what you're waiting for and not get seriously involved with a man who doesn't meet those requirements.


What exactly do I mean about 'requirements'? I'm talking about certain points which you determine your future spouse must have in order for you to marry him.


But what if you don't have these standards yet?


My advice: make them now! In doing this you will know your standards when a time comes when you become interested in a guy or if one asks you out. Then you can consult your list and see whether or not that man matches your requirements. If not, there's no point in starting a serious relationship if you know that you couldn't marry him. That doesn't mean you could not or should not be friends with him; it's just advisable to go any farther than that.


What should you include in your requirements?


Some answers are obvious, while others completely depend on how you were brought up, your personality, what you see in others' marriages, etc. Here are some that would be good to include.



1-He must be a Christian. If you are a Christian, this should be a must. The Bible commands in 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 that we shouldn't be yoked with unbelievers. Plus this can be very hard and frustrating in a marriage relationship if you don't agree about the very thing that should be fundamental in your marriage. ( If you'd like to read more about this topic you can go to the Being Yoked post by myself, Princess Gloria) There's an addition to this, however: He must be a Christian who is showing fruit. Anyone can say they're a Christian, go to church, and all that, but the kind of Christian man that you should wait for should have fruit in his life of serving and loving the Lord. Here are a few examples to show you what I mean: (1) he leads a Bible study, (2) he actively serves at church, (3) the way he lives his life reflects that he is a follower of Christ and honoring the Lord.



2-He should have a high work ethic. In other words, he should be a hard worker, doing a job well. He isn't lazy(as in all the time) and does poor work; no, he works hard. This is important, because (1) then he will honor God by working hard, and (2) he will be able to provide for you.



3-He is committed to the permanents of marriage. This man should not go into marriage with the thought that he can get out of it in any way if it doesn't work. Hopefully, both of you will have been seeking the Lord's will in this and will know that you're supposed to marry. Marriage is hard and may not seem the way you or he thought it is, but you shouldn't think that divorce is an option.



4-Same Master, same mission. As in point #1, you both need to be Christians(have the same Master), but you all also need to have the same mission. If God calls you to be a medical missionary in Africa and the Lord calls this man to be a pastor in Asia, that obviously conflicts and won't work. The one the Lord has planned for you will have a similar mission in life.



5-He shares your value of purity in the pre- and post-wedding relationship. Purity doesn't stop once you're married; it is something to practice your entire life! This man needs to understand and agree with that. This doesn't mean that he(or you!) will not fail, but that you both realize that importance of it.(You can read more about this in Purity: Not Just a Now Thing by myself, Princess Gloria.)



There are several other requirements for your future husband, and some of them will differ from person to person, but some shouldn't. As I said when I started this post, don't compromise on your requirements! The Lord knows what you need and he will send you exactly whom you are waiting for, and they will match your standards. Carefully consider your list and see if there is a point which should actually be on your "Wants for my future husband" list. Some requirements may not actually be requirements, but only things you want him to have. Also pray over what should go on your standards list and what should go on the wants list; you may also be able to talk to your parents about what would be important to have as an requirement. But don't give in to anyone who wants you to go against the requirements you have set. The Lord will send someone who meets your standards perfectly; don't jump ahead of Him.



~Princess Gloria



P.S. I would like to point out that Princess Catherine also write a post about this topic in A List of Requirements. Check it out!