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~*1 John 4:7*~

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.


If you put "confusing" in the box at the bottom of this post, please comment on how you were confused and my team and I will try and clear things up so you won't be confused any longer! :)
- Princess Catherine ~*~

Thursday, September 17, 2009


"I just want to be independent! Can't they understand?!" - A girl at a grocery store

I (Catherine) heard this comment when I and my family were walking though our local grocery store (we seem to do that a lot ;). One girl was complaining to another about how (and she was being very loud about it too!) "Unfair" her parents were and how "They don't understand her" and when would they "Let her be herself?"

I've heard similar things all over the place (you don't have to go shopping to hear them!), like, in church! I know! We are in the house of the King of Kings and they are complaining about their parents, while The King is their Heavenly Father! Kinda funny, isn't it? Then wait until you hear (or, rather, read ;) farther down in this post!

So we agree that people complain about their parents, right? Because they are "boring", "don't care", "jailers", "geeky", "weird", "uncool", and, (the worst accusation) "they don't understand!"

These are just some of the things I hear teenagers (both male and female) call their parents! And the thing is, they are telling it to their friend. If you ask your mom or dad "Can you list six names of people you knew in high school that you hung out with?" I am sure that your parents (unless they have good memories with names! ;) can list even four, let alone six (without pulling out the year book!)!

See my point? The friends they are confiding in right know they probably won't even remember, and yet they are talking to them about their family life and the troubles that haunt their every waking moment (like why they can't go to this or that ;).

Strange, no? If you think that is strange, wait until you read on!

To get my point across about this one, I am going to start off with a story:

"Once a girl and her friend (who was also a girl) were walking in the mall, talking about their parents.
'How can they be so clueless?' Asked the first girl.
'I don't know!' Answered the second with frustration.
'I mean, they can't understand that I need to do my own thing now that I'm a teen! I mean, I only have six years until I am nineteen!' The first complained.
'I so totally agree with you! I am becoming less dependant on them and they don't like that so they force me to do stuff, you know? Why can't they just let me be independent? I need to be my own person!' The second stated while walking up to a pretzel shop. The first started to order when the second one nudged her.
'Look! It's the popular girl at school! What was her name?' The first one (who was new to the school) questioned her pal.
'It's Crystal. Oh! Look at her skirt!
'It's so cute!' The first commented.
'Oh no!' The second wined. 'We don't have that skirt! We will be the laughing stock of the school! Quick; hide me so she can't see what I'm wearing!' "

Do you see? The girls are complaining about how independent we need to be and how we should "be our own person", but then once the popular girl (Crystal) walks up (or near them), they start wishing they were what?
More like Crystal.
That doesn't sound very independent to me!
It's ironic if you think about it! :)

You can hear people complaining all the time about their parents, but then they turn around and want to "fit in" with their "pals" at school, church, or any other group they are around.

Here are some ways that parents can be helpful (or any adult that you trust)(notice the word adult).

1. They've Done What You're Doing

Basically, they were a teenager (and "tween")(Tween= pre-teen) at one point in their life. That's the only way to becoming an adult! (unless you know another ;) They know what peer pressure you are facing, what ideas and backgrounds you are going (or going to go) up against, and they know how it felt to be a teen (tween). Sometimes it just takes a little effort to remember, but they can. They understand and are not "clueless".

2. They are an Adult

Pretty simple (and obvious), right? Yet how is it that we forget this so easily?
Since they are adults, they can do stuff you can't! (like talk to the parent of a fellow class mate that is being a complete jerk.) They also have an adult point of view on things and can help you there as well. Adults can help you understand your teachers too, because the teachers are fellow adults.

3. They Face Things Too!

Just because they are adults doesn't mean they don't face trials, fight battles, and have disappointments of their own. So often on movies the parents or guardians are always screaming at their child (or children) and not compassionate about their child's (or children's') trials in life. They seem like they live in their own happy "La La Land" (see Now What?, Part 1 for my definition of "La La Land" ;) and when anything bad happens, they panic. How many people do you see that are actually like that most (or all) of the time? Not many.
So parents aren't clueless to trials, disappointments, and the battles you face with clashing cultures, loosing friends, and other things that hurt!

4. They Want to See You Become Yourself!

On movies they also make parents (or guardians) uncaring about their child's (or children's') hopes, dreams, and wants. They appear to wrapped up in yelling, grounding, or not caring to ever listen to their child (children). It's sad isn't it?
But your parents (or guardians) do care what you are doing with yourself and your life! It's true! That is why they are pushing you to earn better grades in school and work harder at your job or chores! It's not because they don't care; it's because they do.
They want you to fulfill your dreams and try to let you do what you are passionate about (like sports, writing, drawing, and so on)!
Don't let movies tell you otherwise!

So, these are just 4 reasons parents are important for us! They know what you are going though, they are adults, they face challenges too, and they want you to succeed!
Note: If you have any other ideas about how parents (or guardians) are important, please comment (we love it when you do! :)

So, am I the only one that thinks it's ironic that teenagers (and some tweens) want to be independent yet try to fit in with their group of friends (that they more than likely won't even remember in the coming years)?

Princess Catherine WhiteRose ~*~


  1. Awesome post. As a parent, I can say that you've hit the nail on the head for every point. We've been through the teen years, we do know what you're going through. The details may be different, but the feelings and insecurities are the same.

    Also, we push for good grades and stuff, not because we want to take away your dreams, but because we want you to have the tools to reach them!

    I love your point about independence, and the way people (not just teens! Adults can do this, too) try to prove their independence by following the crowd. It makes no sense. What does make sense is being who you are, and taking the friendship of people who love and accept you for you.

  2. I am very confused about your post!! You said parents have been through what we've been through, right? Not true!! My parents were total geeks when the were in HS!! They have NO idea what I've been going through in school!! Plus they were in a different gen. when they were in HS, things have changed... A lot. I love my parents, don't get me wrong, but I feel like the girl in the grocery store. I know they care, but they DON'T listen to what I'm saying!! They 'care' for me by grounding me, making me go to church, and not letting me express myself! I don't see that as helpful, I see it as them wantinbg to display their power over me! My mom and dad are getting divorced and with the seperation and all its even harder for me! They think its going to help me cause my dad has more loose guidlines with dating, fashion, and modesty, etc. where my mom on the other hand is a total "don't do this," "dont do that," type of mom. So I would live with my mom so I can learn how to be a "lady" while my bro gets to live with my dad!! Its not that I dont love my mom, shes just so different than I am and we NEVER see eye-to-eye. My dad still has guidlines but not as strict so I would be allowed SOME freedom... My life is soo confusing. I was just wondering if you could help me out with seeing my mom as a mother who wants to help me not destroy who Iam becoming. Your post seemed like it was all in the parents eyes, but what about the teen's eyes??

  3. Dear Anonymous,

    I agree that my post was more in the parents eyes, so I will try to do a post though the "teen eyes". :)

    My dad and grandfather never saw eye-to-eye either. My dad loves golf, my grandfather could spend the day at the lake. My dad loves books, my grandfather loved shooting deer. My father went to collage, my grandfather did not. But they did have some things in common, even if they forgot about them from time to time. When my grandfather died, it gave us a lot of time to think about things in a new perspective. Dad found things he had in common with his father he had never thought about before, like them both being lovers of learning, helping others, teaching the younger gen., loyalty to their family, and (of course ;) the love of potato chips and pepper. ;)
    I pray it is not going to take you until your mom dies to find things in common with her!

    What freedoms are you talking about? Freedom of eating what you want? Freedom of wearing what you want? Freedom of what?
    If you find what freedoms you are seeking, you might be able to talk to your mom about them. Isn't it worth the try? Let her understand you, and try to understand her!
    Many teenagers (and I'm not saying you) are complaining about how their parent(s) don't understand, yet they don't try to understand their parents! It's a two-way deal.

    I hope this helps and if you have any other questions, please comment again!

    Princess Catherine ~*~

    If you have any ideas for the post in the "teenagers eyes" please let me know! :)
    Princess Catherine