What If People Ask About Waiting?

Fifteen-year-old Sarah had just returned from a fantastic teen girls’ conference that had been held at her church and she was pumped. One of the last speakers had addressed the issue of purity and had stressed the importance of it, especially in the world now when purity had gone downhill. “Girls, and I suppose guys too, though we’re not talking about them right now, try to get as close to the “Not Pure” line as they possibly can without going over it,” said the speaker. “This is not God’s plan in purity. He wants us to be pure not only in our bodies, but in our hearts and minds as well. He wants us to exhibit purity in every situation, every relationship, and every thought, word, and action. He wants us to show purity in every single area of our lives. Is this difficult? Absolutely! But do we have to do it on our own? No. God will help us on this; we just need to ask him. Let me say one more thing: this will not happen all at once. It will take time, and sometimes I still struggle with this concept, because we want to wake up one morning and find that we’ve suddenly mastered purity. You will fall; I will fall, but we need to make sure that we get back up and try again.” That night, Sarah had signed a purity pledge, stating that she promised to remain pure for her future husband, and she was terribly excited about what she’d determined to do. For a few days, things went smoothly, but a couple of weeks later, a thought hit her, and it bothered her for days before she decided to talk with her mom about it.

“What if people ask about waiting or about why I’m waiting?” she wailed. “What would I say? People will think that I’m a geek! I mean, how many people nowadays wait for their future husband? Some of the girls at school are always talking about what boys they’re going out with now, and who dumped who, and I just know that they’ll ask me someday about who I’m dating. What will I say?”

Have you ever felt like this? In a world where guy/girl relationships are so prominent, someone who’s waiting for their future spouse is a bit harder to find. They’re definitely there, but not always easy to see. Now suppose you’ve decided, or even made a pledge, to stay pure for your husband, but you’re hoping, hoping, hoping that no one will talk to you about it because you have the same fears as Sarah: “What would I say?” “People would think I’m a geek!” Here are some thoughts:

1) Be prepared. This one is a bit hard (for me, too!) because it means taking the time to think about what you’ll say and do before this happens and to plan for it. It’s hard to sit down and do that when we don’t really see that situation happening to us, or when we think we’ll be able to deal with it right then and there.


2) Who cares? This can be hard also because we care about what people think of us. We want people to think good things about us and to like us, and if we say that we’re waiting, people may think that we’re weird, perhaps even too weird to hang out with! But I would encourage you to stand up for the fact that you’re waiting, though it may get hard. If people think you’re weird, that’s their problem, not yours, since you are honoring God in waiting for your future husband.


3) In standing up for what you believe it right, you may encourage someone else to do the same. There could possibly be someone who has been too shy or scared or self-conscious to stand up for waiting. If they realize that you stand up for it, you may help give them the courage to do the same, and through it all you may gain a new friend. Am I saying that there are people like that in every crowd and in every situation? Not necessarily, but there could be. Even if there aren’t, I would still encourage you to stay strong for your beliefs.


4) Pray. Ask God to help give you the words to say, and then to have the courage to say it. Ask Him to help you stand strong, no matter what! Ask Him to use you as a blessing and/or encouragement to someone as you stand.

I hope that this is helpful to you, and remember, if you are God’s princess, this is what he says to you:

“’Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’ So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?’” (Hebrews 13:5b-6, NIV)

~Princess Gloria