Modesty: Part II

I Timothy 2:9-10

I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

This Bible verse isn't saying that we shouldn't braid our hair or wear nice clothing. It's really saying that we should not think that they are more important than whether or not we are acting pure and godly. The world greatly emphasizes how we look--whether or not we have the newest styles, 'cool' hairdo's, or latest earrings. And some of the fashions of the world today are definitely not what a pure maiden who trusts in the Lord would wear.

Imagine if Prince Charming showed up looking for his beautiful, pure princess, and what he found instead was a rude girl, dressed in clingy, immodest attire with a horrendous attitude. He wouldn't be attracted, no, he'd be wondering what in the world happened to his princess?

Thinking in allegorical terms has always helped me to see how awful being impure is. So in this instance, think of purity as a jewel. Here is a story about this:

Once upon a time, there was a great king, the ruler of a mighty kingdom. He had two beautiful daughters who he loved very much. He had given both of them a gift at their birth, a sparkling, flawless, purity jewel to keep. They were meant for the princesses to give them to their husbands on their wedding day.

The girls grew into fine young ladies, until one day the eldest grew impatient with waiting for her prince to come to her. So one night, she snuck out of the castle and off into the kingdom. When she returned, several months later, her purity jewel had changed. Instead of being the sparkling, flawless thing it had once been, it was dull and chipped. Although, luckily for the eldest princess, her prince did come along and marry her, her jewel would never be as precious as it had once been.

The younger princess, seeing what had happened to her sister, stayed in the castle, patiently waiting for her prince and knowing that her father knew best what to do--wait.

Her patience was rewarded when her prince came to the castle, attracted by her flawless purity jewel. They married soon afterward, and unlike her sister, the youngest princess could give her husband a pure jewel.

So, the moral of the story is: keep your jewel a pure gift to give to your husband.

In Christ,

Princess Izori

Modesty: Part I

In a world that doesn't value purity and highly values impurity and immodesty, showing that you are pure and modest is very important. Like the way you dress.

Some modest people only wear dresses or skirts. Even though I enjoy wearing those and looking feminine, I find that for some activities that I do, pants are more modest. Modern day horse-riding, for example, is more for pants. Women rode sidesaddle and wore skirts, but it's a little hard finding side-saddle riding lessons around here.

And another thing to note about modesty: it isn't just wearing modest clothing, it's about how you act! Your clothing should reflect your pure addittude. If someone sees you wearing feminine, modest clothing and sees you acting in a pure, modest way, they will probably think, "Wow, I bet she's one of those Christians! Why isn't she wearing skintight, ripped up jeans or a skimpy top?" Wearing modest clothing is a way to shine your light in the world as a believer.

Also, wearing worldly clothes attracts the wrong kind of person. If a godly young man sees you in skintight clothing with a grumpy, 'cool' attitude, he certainly won't think you're a pure maiden waiting for her Prince Charming. However, a worldly man would say, "Hey, she looks just like the right girl for me! She probably doesn't even know what a Christian is!"

So remember to act with modesty and purity, and not like the world, while you're waiting for Prince Charming. Here are some Bible verses on modesty and purity:

Psalm 24

Psalm 51:10

Philippians 4:8 (as a matter of fact, this is a good verse to memorize!)

Titus 1:15-16

Titus 2:3-5 (another good one to memorize)

I Timothy 2:9-10

I Timothy 4:12 (a very good verse to memorize)

These are only a few verses on this subject. I encourage you to look up verses on modesty and purity in your own Bible, too!

In Christ,

Princess Izori

What is a Pure Heart?

When I typed in the words "Pure of Heart", this post came up: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071109185508AAyoafn

Here is the question:

"So yeah, what does it mean to have a pure heart? i.e. -- Like when someone says 'You must be pure of heart.'?"

Here is the "Best Answer" that was chosen by the voters.

"Its a very simple way of saying something very complicated. Pure of Heart refers to being honest, believing in people, accepting them for what they are. Being truthful in all things you do......get it?"

Notice that this is posted by "WitchTwo".

Witches, sorcery, voodoo dolls, weegie boards; they all go against the Bible and The King of Kings.


So, what is a Pure Heart?
What does that mean?

Before I can answer, I must point something out:

People (especially in this time of the world) seem to think that purity of heart is unattainable, therefore, why even strive to achieve it?
This is the excuse they have come up with so they won't have to worry about trying to achieve a pure heart. Why would they not want a pure heart? I mean, one of the definitions of pure is "clean". Who would not want a clean heart? Or, rather, who would want a dirty heart?

Now, to answer the question "What is a Pure Heart?"

WHAT IS A PURE HEART?

A pure heart involves holiness. For a man or woman of The King of Kings (Jesus), a pure heart is focused on Him. It is a "clean heart" that was purified by Him, for His glory and His purpose! If the definition of a Pure Heart was, as WitchTwo stated, "accepting them for what they are" (them, referring to people) that could pose a problem. Why?
Because what about people that were/are evil? What happens if we just accepted Hitler as he was? What if we decided that no one has the right to hurt him because we must accept him for what he was just for the sake of being "pure of heart"? Then countless people would have died (and people did die) because of him.

Or think of it this way. What if your favorite hero or heroine decided not to fight the bad guy because "they needed to accept him/her the way he is/was" just for the sake of a pure heart? That would not go so well, I can assure you! The King of Kings believes in justice, He created justice.

DO I HAVE A PURE HEART?

Not at first.
"But I am a good person!" you might insist.

Then answer this question truthfully; have you ever sinned?
Have you ever broken the rules (even when no one is looking), hurt someone (even if it is with your words), stolen (even a small thing, like a cookie), lied (if you say "no", then you just did lie), or even thought a mean or un-encouraging thought (you didn't even say it out loud)? You have done at least one of these things. You probably have done them all at one point or another. Even the smallest amount of dirtiness is still not clean, or, in other words, pure.

What happens if gave you your favorite drink, but it had some dirt, mud, dust, or other dirty thing in it? Or what if I spit in it? Would you still drink it? It is very likely that you would not. You could get sick from that piece of dirt, or I could share my germs with you! It is the same way with a pure heart. Even a little bit of dirtiness is not good. But there is a way to get a pure heart. There is a way to clean up the dirtiness.

HOW CAN I GET A PURE HEART?

Remember at the question before this (Do I have a pure heart?), I said "Not at first"? I never said it was not attainable!

But how can you get a pure heart? How can you make it clean?

Remember what a pure heart is? It involves holiness, right?
Well, so what is holiness? Holiness means belonging to The King of Kings. Some call Him Jesus.

Now What?, Part 2

I finished the last post with the question:

"He is your dream date. But is he your dream husband?"

What do I mean by that?

Remember how we talked about the list of requirements? (click here for the blog post: A List of Requirements) I am referring to that post. He might be a nice guy to date, but would you want to marry him? Does he measure up to all the "Needs" of your list? (Remember that the "waits" are not vital, they are just "wants") And remember too that we decided that dating was dangerous.

So what should we do instead of dating?

Before I answer this question, I must point out two things something.
1. We have become so dependant on dating that we have forgotten that it has only been around for a little while.
2. We have forgotten what people did before dating when they were interested in a member of the opposite gender.

Now that I have pointed that out, I shall answer the question:
Courting.

I know what you are thinking "Not courting! You have no fun when your court!" and things along that line. Stay with me!

Remember that getting to know a person before you marry them is not suppose to be "fun". It is about getting to know the person and seeing if you and he make a good team/match. When you are married you can't afford to go out to eat every day (or even every week); that money will be used for other things! And marriage will be hard at points, so why should life before you marry?

Now, back to courting.

Courting has 7 benefits over dating (it probably has more, but these are the things I can think of right now).

1. He asks your dad if he can court you

This means no asking the boy yourself! No worrying or sweating about what to say; that's his job. And the cool thing is if you don't like him, you can use your dad as an excuse! What do I mean by that? If you know this guy does not measure up to your requirements (your Needs, not wants) or if you just don't like him, you can ask your dad to shoo him away for you. You don't have to do a thing! If your dad is not available, ask a brother or your mom. They can help too!

2. You get to know him in a friendly atmosphere

You can watch him interact with other people other than yourself. How does he react when he is happy, excited, angry, frustrated, or sad? How does he act with other females? What qualities does he have when not being on his best behavior? These are all things that you can do when not on a date.

3. You get to know him in a family atmosphere

Most of the time with dating you want to be alone, or with other couples that are dating or going on the same date. But what about his family? How does he treat his sister and what respect does he show his mother? Does he honor his father's authority? Does the family think highly of him? The way he treats his sister and the respect he shows his mother will be the same way (not the exact same, but similar) he treats you. If he honors his father's authority he will also honor your father and it shows that he respects authority. If his family thinks highly of him it shows that he has good qualities. They would know; they've lived with him.

4. You get to know him when you are not wearing your "Rose Colored Glasses"

You can see him in real life, not behind glass. How does he handle his money? Does he tithe to the Church? Does he have a job that can support you and any possible children you might have?Would he be a good husband/father? Is he ready to get married? These facts usually go unnoticed or unchallenged when couples are dating. But they need to be addressed. These are things that are important and we are just letting them slip by and pass it as "we are just having fun".

5. He gets to know you

He gets to know about how you act in a friendly atmosphere. He gets to know about your family life. He gets to know how you handle your money, would you be a good wife/mother, and whether or not you are ready to get married.

6. You get to be yourself around him

He knows about your family. He knows how you act in a friendly atmosphere where all your attention is not on him. He knows how you handle your money, knows if you would be a good wife/mother and if you are ready to marry or if he and you should wait. You don't have to worry if your hair is not completely perfect or your make-up is too much or to little. You don't have to worry about what you are wearing all the time or if you match. You don't have to clean up your room so it is spotless 'cause he knows you are messy! What a relief! You don't have to act perfect anymore! You can't act perfect because you are not perfect! I'm not either and neither is he! You don't have to pretend around him. Just be you. You can be you around him!

7. You won't give some of your heart away

Remember the cake? Remember us being the princesses? (if not, click here: Is Dating Dangerous? Part 1)

You only court if you are planning to marry him. So if you court you are ready to get married, right? And he is ready too. He is not planning to dump you; he really means the "Until death do we part" section of the marriage vow, and so should you. Sometimes courting couples decide not to marry or continue courting, but it is not for silly reasons like in dating. It is for real reasons, not some excuse of a reason like in dating. Having the idea that when you court you are considering him for marriage is better than dating. Why? Because with dating you are expected to break up and it is almost never the intent to marry, or, at least, not for a while (see the blog post "Is Dating Dangerous? Part 1" for more details), while in courting you are prepared to get married.

So, courting has at least 7 Benefits that dating does not. Now, I am not saying that you can't go (every once and a while) hang out by yourselves, but why would you want to? What does he (or you) have to tell the other person alone that he can't tell in front of his (or your) parents? It might be nice to be alone with him, but if you are planning on marrying him (and that is the only reason you court him) you will have time to be alone with him.

Keep Blooming!

Princess Catherine WhiteRose

Practicing Patience

Thanks for letting me join as a contributer, Catherine!

My mom and I were talking about practicing being a good wife when I turned 13, and patience is a major part in a good marriage, as well as good family and sibling relationship. I already mentioned (in a comment) that dating is a bad way to practice. But what are some good ways?

Practice with your brothers.
This is very good practice, as your brothers are probably not trying to impress you with their good manners and 'angel' behavior. Next time when they aggravate you, speak to them gently and tell them how you feel about being whacked on the head with a pillow while in the middle of practicing your piano. Believe me, yelling just causes them to yell back, and then you get into an argument. My brother and I can usually get back on terms within the next hour or so, but that hour is going to be filled with bitter thoughts. And sometimes we can't reconcile. We have issues about pillow whacking today. Practice being patient with them. It will be a lot easier to learn this important lesson sooner then later.

Help your younger siblings.
Part of a marriage is children, and you definitely want to learn how to deal with children patiently before you get married. Seeing as I have plenty of younger siblings, practice sort of comes to me, not the other way 'round. My brother can't type, so sometimes I type for him. I babysit my youngest sibling when Mom goes to the grocery store, and I've even babysat all my younger siblings (believe me, they don't like burnt pizza. Whoops!)
Siblings, I can honestly say, can be quite a handful sometimes. But it's still good practice for your own children. Also, you can help out in your church nursery, or even in Vacation Bible School. And remember to get practice changing diapers. I'm still sort of squeamish, but definitely not like before. You should get as much practice as you can before you babysit. One of the first times I babysat my youngest sibling, he had a major diaper.

Be respectful to your parents.
This is one of my hardest areas--listening to authority. Your husband, when you are married, will be king of the castle, and you will be his queen. Your job is to advise and care for him, his job is to protect, lead, and care for you. It's going to be very hard to learn to respect your husband during your marriage unless you learn to respect your parents first.

There are many other tips and hints on patience out there. Some Bible verses on patience:

I Corinthians 13:4 (The whole chapter 13 is very good to read, too)

Proverbs 15:8

II Corinthians 6:3-10

I Thessalonians 5:14

Colossians 1:10-14

In Christ,

Princess Izori

Welcome Princess Izori!

We have a new author on this blog; Princess Izori!!!

Please welcome her and treat her like you would a fellow sister in Christ! :)

Princess Catherine ~*~

Now What?, Part 1

OK, if dating is dangerous, what should we do instead?

First off, let me tell you something. Dating has not been around for that long. Yep. It's true! Your great grandmother or great great grandmother would not have dated. Don't worry; dating's not the only way to get to know a boy.


Second, remember that I re-stated the question.

"If you are not planning to get married to the boy, is dating dangerous?"

Remember the answer? (if not, click here: Is Dating Dangerous? Part 2)It was YES. Why? Do you recall the princess, or (if it does not make you too hungry), the cake? (click here if you do not: Is Dating Dangerous? Part 1). Those blog posts warned you about the dangers of dating if you are not planning on marrying him. I suppose you could still date someone if you mean to marry him, but keep in mind what one of our thoughtful readers commented:

(NOTE: bold and italic were added in.)

"Excellent observations! I have something to add. I was reading an advice column a few months ago, and someone wrote in that they couldn't get over being dumped by their boyfriend. The advisor wrote back, saying that she should get used to it because breaking up is just part of dating. A lot of people defend dating by saying that the boyfriend and girlfriend are just practicing being married, so when they do marry someone, they'll have a good relationship. However, if breaking up is a part of 'practice', then they will simply be practicing how to break up. Also, when you do marry, how do you think your husband/wife will feel when you tell them that you've told someone else you loved them by dating them. That will not make for a good marriage." - Izori, a author on this blog

She made an excellent point! So, what I said before, dating is dangerous, and here is another point too; you will see the boy in a romantic light.

What do I mean by that?

Have you ever gone to a store and your mom say "Be on your best behavior. You are representing our family."? Or "Behave; first impressions are very important." or something to that effect? Well, that is also what I mean by "you will see the boy in a romantic light". The boy knows that this is a date and he is going to be on his best behavior. Naturally, he wants to impress you. And you want to impress him. Let me testify that we all have our "bad" days. We feel "under the weather" or "out of sorts"; that happens. We are humans; we are not perfect. But, to bring us back to the point, if the boy sees you only in a romantic atmosphere he will be offended or (perhaps) shocked at the way you actually act on your normal behavior. I am not criticizing your behavior, but how you act on a date is going to be different than how you act when you are not on one. And, likewise, you will be amazed at how he actually acts when he is not giving you flowers or cards or calling you "his girlfriend".

To simplify it:

Have you ever heard of rose colored glasses (I know, I always seem to go back to roses! ;)?
If not here is a picture of one:

You see how the lenses are pink? That makes it look like everything is pink and resembles the color of hearts, candy, cotton candy, and so one. Everything sweet and joyful.

To shorten the simplified version: rose colored glasses make everything look like "La La Land" ("La La Land" is a term I use to say that everything is "A-okay" or "perfect" with little rabbits jumping in a meadow while the daisies have cute baby faces and sing high-pitched songs).

How is this like dating?

Well, you see the boy like you have rose colored glasses on; sweet, perfect, and totally "La La Landish".

In short, your dream date.

But would he be your dream husband?