Is Dating Dangerous? Part 2

Now, you as a princess have a kingdom to protect too. Your heart. If you started dating a boy a month and then ditching him, you would have divided your heart. Instead of having all of your heart to give, you have divided it out into pieces that cannot be reattained. It becomes broken into little pieces, just like the kingdoms. And then the boys that you have dumped will more than likely be hurt by being "ditched".

Here is another danger. You could be dumped. Then what?

So, back to the original question "Is dating dangerous?" Yes, or I should rephrase the question. "If you are not planning to get married to the boy, is dating dangerous?" YES. Maybe not for your body, but for your mind and your heart it is. Every boy that you are just "having fun with" is ripping your rose, even if it is just slightly. And, you are ripping him. Remember the cake idea? Well, you could "eat" some of the prince's "cake" and leave only a portion of the cake and of the beauty it could have before you ate it. His princess would not like that, just like you would not like it if that happened to your prince's "cake", or, in real life, his heart.

I put the verse Jeremiah 17:9 on the top of this post because it does remind us of something. You cannot always follow your heart. It wants the fleshly things, the earthly things. It wants to have a boyfriend because everyone else has one, or it wants one because it feels lonely.

Remember what it says in The Bible, in Jeremiah 17:9 (NIV)
"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"
Jeremiah 17:9

Is Dating Dangerous? Part 1

"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"
Jeremiah 17:9

It happens all around us. You here people talking about their cute "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" or you see them constantly texting each other -even if they are standing directly next to each other. You see them hugging and acting as if that person is the world to them. Their little brothers and/or sisters talk to you about "my big brother's girlfriend" or "my big sister's boyfriend". Sometimes you even can here "boyfriends" or "girlfriends". Yes, that is plural.


Why, at the beginning did I put boyfriend and girlfriend in parenthesis? Well, according to dictionary.com, the definition of "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" is this:

Girlfriend: a frequent or favorite female companion; sweetheart, a female friend

Boyfriend: a frequent or favorite male companion, a male friend, a male lover

How many times does a girl say that she "loves" her boyfriend? But how many times do you think she means it? Most of the time (in fact, a lot of the time) boyfriends and girlfriends plan not to get married, or, at least, not get married for the next three, four, or five years.

When standing in the checkout line at the grocery store, the man waiting in front of us was talking on his cellphone loudly. His conversation went something like this:

"Yes, my nephew is on his eighth girlfriend this month. No, that's not his record. He's dumped and got eleven new girls in one month. Yeah, the longest he's stayed with one is a week. No! I'm telling the truth. Ask him yourself."

The conversation went on for another three minutes like this, but, needless to say, the point is proven. That boy never "loved" any of those girls. How could he? Later in the conversation the man said that his nephew was fourteen. How could anyone -especially a 14 year old who is not planning on marrying for at least four or five more years- love seven or eight girlfriends a month. If you say that his average "girlfriend rate" is seven girlfriends a month, multiply that by 12 and you have 84 girlfriends a year! Now, what is the possibility of girlfriends and boyfriends still dating in five, four, or even three years when they switch boyfriends or girlfriends each month? Pretty slim, wouldn't you agree?

Sarah Malley, author of the book "Before you Meet Prince Charming" (which I highly recommend!) writes this in the chapter "Reserved for One".

"Suppose you make a beautiful birthday cake. It was a rich chocolate cake with homemade vanilla frosting. You spent all afternoon taking the time to make sure it was flawless. You decorated it carefully with frosting, flowers, leaves, and lettering, and added a few cherries for the final touch. Then, enjoying the aroma of freshly baked chocolate cake, you left it on the counter so that it would be ready for the birthday party.
Then suppose I came along, saw the cake, and feeling a little hungry, decided to cut a piece for myself. Just as I was eating my last bite, you returned to the counter and found your beautiful cake-with a piece missing. So much for all your work making sure each detail of every flower looked perfect. As far as you are concerned, the cake is ruined. There's not time to make a new one. How will it look when you serve it at the party? After all your meticulous work to make it just perfect, how would you feel about my careless attitude?
What if I suggested that you bake another piece of cake to fill in the empty space? Obviously, my advice would irritate you even more.
"Of course not," you'd say. "The cake is ruined. It will never look the same again."

- Sarah Malley in the book "Before You Meet Prince Charming",

In the chapter "Reserved for One".

Or here is another picture. Imagine that you are a Princess. Some of you might be thinking
"Um, sorry, but I don't want to be a princess. All they do is sip tea (and I don't like tea!) dance (I don't know how to dance!), and stare out the window (boring!)."

But that is not what a princess does at all! They keep the castle running, give advice to the king (of the castle) and is the softer and compassionate side towards the subjects of the kingdom. They also will (when they become queen) care for the future ruler of the kingdom; the little prince or princess. They hold the future in their arms! That's less than boring, right?

OK, now, back to being a princess.

What would happen if a princess was seen hugging, sending letters (they didn't have texting back then), and even kissing a fellow prince? The king would probably think "Oh this is great, we can unite them in marriage and unite the prince's and our country! This will be great!".

But what would happen if the princess "ditched" that prince the next day and found another prince or a handsome knight? That princess would be (if unintentionally) dividing the kingdom and making enemies with all those countries of the princes (or knights) she ditched.

How?

The kingdom would be divided because people have opinions. One half of the country might think "She had every right to dump him. He wasn't handsome enough for her!" or some excuse like that. The other half would say "She should not be flirting with every prince like she was going to marry him! She could cause a war!" and they would be right. Most people don't like being "ditched", especially princes who usually get whatever they want. The princess would then be turning the countries against her country or, in other words, turn the countries that would once be allies, enemies. The princes/knights might even fight with the other princes/knights because they think "if I can win _____ then I can win the Princess's favor." And what happens if she dumps a prince/knight each month? That would be 12 princes (or 12 kingdoms) getting angry. She would be dividing other kingdoms as well as dividing her own and making the princes' countries not become allies with her country.

Big effect hu?

Writing Letters to Yourself

Waiting......
Nobody likes waiting, at least nobody that I know. Well, I take that back. I do like waiting for somethings, like taking medicine or getting a shot. But even then you want to get it over with and it is better to do something then just wait around! And in the end you know that the medicine -or a shot- is for your benefit. So I take back what I took back. Basically, nobody likes waiting.

We as Princesses are waiting for our Knight or Prince to come for us, but like I said before, it is better to do something then just waiting around. Sometimes -even though we are serving The King by helping a friend or doing something else that is a blessing to someone-we start to get lonely. Why can't he come now? You feel so discouraged. Maybe your Prince went to the wrong castle! Perhaps you should give him directions! I bet when you saw the title you were thinking " 'Writing Letters to Yourself ' well that's selfish!" or "Why would I need to do that?".

Some time you will feel lonely and you will need some encouragement to keep on staying pure. Say right now you are not feeling discouraged and you are thinking "What are you talking about? I could care less about waiting for my prince! I'll almost (or I am) a teenager! I'm not going to get married until I'm like 20 or something!" Good! So now would be a great time to write yourself a letter to encourage yourself later that staying pure for your Prince is the right thing to do.

This is a song written by a band of three sisters. Their band is called "BarlowGirl" and they are awesome role models for young ladies!
Click here for the official music video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=locmq1SAKME

And here are the lyrics:

I waited for you today

But You didn't show

No.No.No.

I needed You today

So where did you go?

You told me to call

Said You'd be there

And though I haven't seen You

Are You still there?

Chorus:

I cried out with no reply

And I can't feel You by my side

So I'll hold tight to what I know

You're here and I'm never alone.

And though I can not see You

And I can't explain why.

Such a deep, deep reassurance You've placed in my life

Oh, We cannot separate

'Cause You're part of me

And though You're invisible

I'll trust the unseen

Chorus:

I cried out with no reply

And I can't feel You by my side

So I'll hold tight to what I know

You're here and I'm never alone

We cannot separate;

You're part of me

And though You're invisible

I'll trust the unseen

Chorus:

I cried out with no reply

And I can't feel You by my side

So I'll hold tight to what I know

You're here and I'm never alone!

I really like this song and would recommend it for whenever you are feeling down and alone. Hum this to yourself, or at least remember this; you are NEVER ALONE. Waiting for your Prince will be hard at some point and you will need some encouragement. Here is some free encouragement for you, today and/or any day!

Speaking (well, technically it should be "typing" because I am not exactly "speaking" ;) of encouragement, here is a letter I wrote to myself:

NOTE: I call myself "My Friend" instead of "Dear Catherine" because I think it would be funny to write the letter "Dear Catherine" and end it "From Catherine", but that is just my personal preference)

From one flower garden to another………..

My Friend,

I understand that this might be hard for you. I pray that you are to persevere and carry though your promise of purity.
Remember that God cares for you and instead of leaning on boys or your understanding/feelings (see Proverbs 3:5) that you don’t plan on marrying now or ever, lean on God, let Him care for you like He cared for Israel in the desert, like He cared for Samson when Samson disobeyed God and like God cared for Nineveh even though they were not Israel, His chosen people.
In Matthew 5:8 it reads:
”Blessed are the Pure in heart for they shall see God.”
Jesus spoke these words and as you know Jesus never has, will, or did lie so it is true. Instead of going and pleasing boys, please God.

In Psalm 69:29-36 King David calls out to God because his troubles are closing in around him. This is what he says:

But I am afflicted and in pain;
May Your salvation, O God, set me securely on high.

I will praise the name of God with song

And magnify Him with thanksgiving.

And it will please the LORD better than an ox

Or a young bull with horns and hoofs.

The humble have seen it and are glad;

You who seek God, let your heart revive.

For the LORD hears the needy

And does not despise His who are prisoners.

Let heaven and earth praise Him,

The seas and everything that moves in them.

For God will save Zion and build the cities of Judah,

That they may dwell there and possess it.

The descendants of His servants will inherit it,

And those who love His name will dwell in it.

David says that the LORD hears the needy’s cries and answers them (vs. 33). God will hear your cry and He will lift you from your “pit”.

In Lamentations 3:55-58 Jeremiah calls out to God saying:

I called on Your name, O LORD,

Out of the lowest pit.

You have heard my voice, "Do not hide Your ear from my prayer for relief, From my cry for help."

You drew near when I called on You;

You said, “Do not fear!"

O Lord, You have pleaded my soul's cause;

You have redeemed my life.

And in verse 22 it reads:

The LORD'S loving kindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail.

Jeremiah calls out, God answers. When Israel called out in Egypt, God answered. HE will answer your prayers. Psalm 91 talks about (if you would call it “talking”) the security in those who trust in the one true GOD. Go to God. Let Him wrap His ever-loving and ever-caring arms around you.

In Psalms 1:1 it reads:

Blesses is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,
Or stand in the way of sinners,
Or sit in the seat of mockers.

We learned about the Dangers of The Dating System in the chapter 2 of the book Before You Meet Prince Charming by Sarah Malley and how it is wicked because of the selflessness involved in it. “I want to be happy. I want to have fun NOW” and such ideas as these.

So in short, keep growing as the pure white rose that God wants you to have. Let your light shine and let your rose grow to the beauty it can, don’t let some boy ruin it just so he/you can have fun now.

Remain Pure,
Your Sister in Christ,

Princess Catherine

Writing Letters

So, we have a list full of requirements for our future husband (if not, click here to see the post for ideas: A List of Requirements ). Another idea for while we are waiting is writing him letters. Hand written letters. Letters that mean something to you, and if he loves you, they will mean something to him.


Here is an example:



My Dear Knight, (I don't know his name yet so I didn't put "My dear _______.")

It is lonely sometimes waiting for you, but I know I don't wait in vain. When you come I will know it was worth all that waiting! I only hope that I shall serve The King while waiting and not drown in my self-pity. I hope that you are serving The King at this time, for I know if we do not we will regret it later.

Your Princess,

Catherine (your name would go in your own letter).

Your letter should differ from the example (or you can copy it and add your own words too), but this is just to get it started. I would recommend you put the date of when you wrote the letter some where on the piece of paper. Don't be ashamed if it is not elegant or your handwriting is bad! You should not write something that's not your style because then it will not be from you, or, at least, the real you. It doesn't have to be long, and it doesn't have to be short. It doesn't have to be of medium length either! The only thing that matters is if it comes from your heart.

Keep Blooming,

Princess Catherine WhiteRose

A List of Requirements

Let's face it; there are tons and tons of boys out there! How in the world will we find our Prince? Well, the best way is to have a standard that they must meet. In other words, a list of requirements. The best way to narrow it down is to have a list that they must meet. Some things can be "wants" but remember, there is a difference between "wants" and "needs". A need is vital and something you cannot do without. A want is a wish or desire, it is not essential.

Here are some things to get you started:

NOTE: Parents are a GREAT resource for the list! My parents gave me some of the suggestions!

Needs:

1. He is a Prince of The King of Kings (Jesus Christ) and you know that by his actions, not just on his words
2. He respects his mother and sister (watch and see, this is the way he will treat you)
3. He respects his parents (does he honor authority?)
4. He knows that marriage is for life
5. You respect him and are willing to follow him

And here are some "wants" that you might have:
NOTE: these things are not things you need to have on your list (that is why they are under "wants" not "needs"), I am just giving suggestions.

Wants:

1. He is a musician
2. He is an animal lover (notice then, if this is one of your wants, he should not be allergic to animals. That would be bad...)
3. He is an artist

Now, don't take this the wrong way. I'm not saying "go around with a list and see if he is the right one." No, if he is the right one for you, God will arrange for you to meet and get to know each other. You won't have to do a thing except for wait patiently (lucky us! :).

Welcome!

Welcome to White Rose Valley!

This blog is dedicated to searching young ladies who wish to stay pure for their future husbands. It talks about what we can do when we are waiting for our "Prince Charming" and to be careful not to give our heart away to the wrong "Knight".