The Above Reproach Rule, Number 2

I know that in December (December 20th to be exact) I said that I would do the Above Reproach Rules, but do to a number of factors, I haven't been able to write this post until now. If you've forgotten about the first Above Reproach Rule, please click here to refresh your memory.

2. The Two Eye Ball Rule

The second rule of three is a rule that was explained to me by Eric and Leslie Ludy (not personally, but in one of their books). It's called the "Two Eyeball Rule". Below is an extract from their book "Meet Mr. Smith", and it talks about the second rule.

During Eric’s single years, he lived by something that he referred to as the “the two
eyeball principle.” (I should add here that the entire League has gone on record in agreeing with me that this phrase is about as unromantic and awkward sounding as a foghorn.)
The two eyeball principle was based on a something that God taught Eric in college,
when he realized how differently he would act around girls if his future wife could see his words and actions. He began to live as if his future wife was watching him interact with the opposite gender at all times – as if her “two eyeballs” were upon him. (Why couldn’t it just be her “two eyes” that were upon him? I have yet to receive a good explanation for this!)
Eric began to ask himself the question, “If my future wife could see me now, how would
she feel about what I am doing or saying? Would she feel honored? Would she feel protected?
Or would she feel hurt and jealous?” Those simple questions began to revolutionize Eric’s
interaction with girls. He decided that someday, at his wedding, he wanted all the girls who had known him during his single years to come up to his future wife and say, “Eric has always
honored and respected you – even before you were in his life.”

See link for more: http://www.setapartlife.com/Meet_Mr_Smith_Bonus_files/Mr-Smith-Bonus-Content.pdf

This rule is one we can all apply, and its rewards are immense! You see, if you are faced with a decision that you don't know what to do, think about this; would I do it if my future husband were here?Now, I'm sorry I don't have a cute little phrase like WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?) or FROG (Fully Rely On God), and I know that WIDIIMFHWH doesn't sound catchy enough. The closest I can get is "If he could see, would it embarrass me?", but that's beside the point. It doesn't matter how you remember it, the point is that you do remember it! How many of you would like guys to come up to your husband and say "(Your name) has always honored and respected you- even before you were a part of her life"? I know I would! And wouldn't you want to know that your future husband is doing the same for you? Again, I know I would!

I know it can be hard to apply this continually, but- with God's help- you can do it! Also, have accountability partners. They could be close girl friends, your sister, Mom, Dad, or even your brother. Before you laugh, consider this; your brother knows how you act normally towards boys (he is one!), so when you start doing something that is unnatural (like staring at a guy continually or sighing when he walks past), he knows. And the greatest thing is, he'll let you know (you can count on it)! Having people keep you accountable is important, and also keeps you on your guard (the less times brother says "Cut it out" the better, right? :)

When you apply these two Above Reproach Rules (Rule of Three and Two Eye Ball Rule), you not only are honoring your future spouse by your actions, but also honoring God and protecting yourself from unnecessary hurt and embarrassment.

Blessings,

A Post By Princess Emily

Dear Readers,

Before you start to read the post below, I would like to thank Princess Emily for doing this for us. If you would like to have us publish anything for you, please leave it as a comment, and I (Princess Catherine) will see when would it would be best to publish it.

Princess Catherine ~*~

“What?!” I burst out, shocked and horrified. The voice on the other end of my cell phone said the same words again. “I have a new girlfriend.”
I got angry, and so I shouted “Well, who needs you anyway? Jerk!” And I slammed my thumb down on the button that ended the call. That call ended my relationship with my first boyfriend.

I felt numb, empty. Who would I think about when I was day dreaming? Why would I care about what I wore if I didn’t have anyone to notice it? What would I do in my spare time if I wasn’t checking my e-mail or texting him? When would I get my life back?

I decided the answer was to date someone else in my high school. A guy that I didn’t really know well, but he seemed OK. Strong, pretty good looking, and laughing at everything (and anything) I said. Then I realized that my heart wasn’t in this relationship and he was too carefree (I wanted someone to say that everyone that was against me were jerks and sympathize with me), and so I made a choice to break up with him. Although I wasn’t hurt like the first time I broke up, it still felt like I was hollow inside.
Then I agreed to date another boy in my school. He was handsome, funny, and a good athlete. What more could I ask for? Well, you might not know the answer, but I do. I wanted love. He was too busy with other things to even check my text messages I sent him, and so I got more and more desperate to try and contact him and get his attention. I grew more and more worried about what he thought about my clothes, make-up, hair styles, and other things that just weren’t very important. I realized that I was only his “girlfriend” by name. Then he broke up with me (and put me on his spam list because I e-mailed him too much), and that was it.
When he broke up with me, I broke inside. My heart became broken. I knew I couldn’t go through another boyfriend if all they did to me was hurt me. They never abused me physically, but when they broke up with me, I was devastated. They don’t call it “breaking up” for no reason.

I ran to my room and slammed my door while locking myself in and other people out. I turned off my cell phone, unplugged my laptop, and sat hunched up on my bed, crying. My parents tried to come in, but I just said I was fine and would come down later. Or other times I would (I’m not proud of it now) yell at them, angry at them for something I had brought upon myself.
No wonder the teenage years are so tough! I thought. I won’t be able to last through another boyfriend, but if I don’t date, everyone else will think I’m some weirdo!
Then the question came to my mind “What should I do now?”

A note was thrust under my door in an envelope titled “To Emily”. I ignored it for about two minutes, then I became curious. Who sent it to me? I didn’t recognize the handwriting. Filled with interest, I grabbed the note and tore it open.

On the top was the address “Psalm 18:6” and on the bottom “Psalm 34:17” Then it read as follows:

“Emily,

Don’t know why, but I feel like I should pray for you. It’s OK to cry, but remember that God will wipe your tears. Pray for yourself; it’s not wrong! Pray for guidance about what to do next (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Your friend,

Megan”

Megan? My “friend” at school who does that Bible Study thing at recess? I laughed and walked over to put it on my bookshelf in the drawer with all my other letters (OK, it was really my junk drawer), then I opened the drawer to toss the letter in and stopped. There, sitting in my junk drawer, sat the Bible Megan and her friend, Jenny, gave to me one day at school. I had never opened it, I’ll admit. Then I felt compelled to open it. If Megan spent her time to write and send me a note (even a weird note at that), I should at least figure out what Psalm was and what the numbers 18, 6, 34, and 17 meant. So I looked at the “table of contents” and looked for the chapter Psalm. It turns out that “Psalm” was not a chapter, but a book, one of the 66 books in the Bible. And the numbers were not random. When it said “Psalm 18:6” it meant the book Psalm, the chapter 18, and the verse 6. I was amazed at how organized everything was. And I was comforted by the words I found in those pages. I had felt so empty after my break ups, but King David in Psalm 23:5 it says “…My cup overflows.” I wanted something, and in Psalm 23:1 it says “…I shall not want.” It was all about me, me, me, me, and (yep) me. What would I do, why would I care, when would I get my life back. I was (and still am sometimes, but God helps me) selfish, but now I know that in Philippians (chapter 2 verse 3), it says “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;”

So, God has brought my life back, even after my boyfriends (I had more than three, I just picked the “main” three). It was tough, and it will be for you too. But remember Megan’s words of encouragement “It’s OK to cry, but remember that God will wipe your tears. Pray for yourself; it’s not wrong! Pray for guidance about what to do next (Proverbs 3:5-6)”

Proverbs 3:5-6
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

Psalm 18:6
“In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From His temple He heard my voice; my cry came before Him, into His ears.”

Psalm 34:17
“The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles.”

Now, I can proudly say that I am no longer just Emily, a common, hopeless person, but now I am Princess Emily, daughter of the King of Kings. And I can boast of this because Galatians 6:14 “May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.”

Princess Emily, daughter of The King of Kings

Question 7: What If Someone Asks You To Date Him?

Answers


This is a question I (Catherine) see girls struggle with answering, and I've even struggled myself. What if someone asks you the question "What if someone asks you to date him?"? What would you reply?



This question can have different answers because
1. This question can be asked by someone who is asking you to date him
2. This question can be asked by someone who wants to know what you'd say if someone asked you to date him


So, for the first part of the 7th question (the boy himself asking you to date him), here are some ways to reply.........


You Could Gently........
1. Tell him that you don't date, you court.

• The way he replies to this helps you determine his character and up-bringing. What I mean is, if he says "What's courting?" you know he hasn't been brought up around courting. And if he says "I don't want to court." you know he's not for you.

2. Ask him why he wants to date you

• This will help him examine his reasons for asking you. If they are simply "Because I like you", you can ask him why. Again, this helps him examine his reasons.

3. Tell him that he has to ask your dad (or other assigned family member) if he can court you

• This will help "screen" boys. If they are to chicken to ask your dad, do they really care for you as they say they do?
• It will also allow your dad to become acquainted with this boy and he can help you decide if he fits your List Of Requirements.

Or You Could.....

4. Simply say "no".

Now, the second "part" of the question (the part that someone is asking you what you would say if someone asks you to date him). All you have to do is give one of the answers for the first "part" of the question. Example: Tell them "I would say 'I don't date. I court'." or "I'd tell him to go ask my dad!"

I hope these reasons help you!

Keep Blooming!

Princess Catherine ~*~

A Week Of FAQs, August 16-22

Questions come in all shapes and sizes.

It could be a harmless granny trying to make a conversation. It could be a girl you meet at school or some event. Or it could be a boy.

How do you answer these questions?

There are probably more questions (and if you have more, please comment and we will try to do a post on it as soon as possible) that you can think of, but right now I (Catherine) am just going to do a week of "FAQ"s (Frequently Asked Questions).

Here are the questions we will be discussing on how to answer:

Question 1: Do You Have a Boyfriend?
Question 2: Do You Date?
Question 3: Why Don't You Date?
Question 4: What's Courting? And How is it Different from Dating?
Question 5: Aren't You Lonely?
Question 6: How Will You Meet Someone?
Question 7: What if Someone Asks You To Date Him?

I hope you will join us as we find ways to answer these questions.

Keep Blooming!


Princess Catherine ~*~

What Do You Do If Someone Has A Crush On You?

There's been a lot of talk on 'What do you do if you have a crush on someone', so now I think I'll post about what if someone has a crush on you.

But first, let's see how much you know about this already.

1). What should you do to get over a crush?
-pray.
-post their picture in your bedroom to remember them ever and always.

2). Is a crush harmful?
-yes.
-not at all. Crushes are merely practicing for when you will really fall in love.

If you said that both of the first ones were the right choice, you were right. If you said that the second answers were the right ones, then much to learn, you still have. For brush-up, go look at:

More on How Crushes Crush

and

Do Crushes Crush? And How do I get Over One.

And now on to what you do if someone has a crush on you.

1). Pray. Very important and the first step for absolutely everything.

2). Read your Bible. It has good suggestions on stuff like this (such as, 'do not be unequally yoked).

3). Talk to someone else who has more experience with stuff like this (like an older lady in the church, or your mom, or even your dad) and ask them how to deal with it. My very wise brother suggested this one. And it's a good suggestion, too! (He's looking over my shoulder as I type this, and he let out a squeak of protest as I typed the above words. Obviously he doesn't want to be famous on this blog =).

4). Don't let the person have any reason to believe you feel the same for them. That would just encourage them.

There are many more suggestions out there. If any readers have stuff to add, feel free to comment!

In Christ,

Princess Izori

More on How Crushes Crush

More on crushes...

Crushes are usually very temporary. They can last for a few hours to a year, but rarely go over that. Crushes are not true love; they're just considered 'puppy love'.

But are crushes harmful?

Most people would say no. After all, it's just puppy love.

Actually, crushes can be very harmful if you are not old enough to be considering 'knights' (a future husband). First of all, people are going to have several 'crushes' in their teenage years. If you take each one seriously and believe that the person you have a crush on will be your knight, when your feelings for him change, or his feelings for you change, your heart will be damaged by the time you've gone through a few of these. And once damage is done, it's hard to undo it.

Most crushes aren't even 'puppy love', they're just a feeling you get that you mistake for love. And when you believe that someone you have a crush on will be your knight, then you are damaging him. There are millions of young men out there, and only one will be your 'knight'. So there's one in a million chance that this guy that you just met yesterday is going to be your husband. Treat him like some other young lady's knight, because there's a very good chance that's what he is!

I hope this helps, Anonymous.

In Christ,

Princess Izori

P.S. If anyone checks the box labeled 'Confusing' under posts, please comment on how it was confusing and the other princesses and I will try to explain it more clearly. Commenters, if you think you have any helpful input, feel free to tell that, too.

Do Crushes Crush? And How Do I Get Over One?

This post was written for the person that commented as "Anonymous" on the post

"The Treaty Contest, A Note After the Poetry Contest".

I (Catherine) hope it helps you and others too! :)

Isn't it kinda strange that the word we use when we like (that type of like) someone is called a crush?

Crush (verb with object)- to press or squeeze with a force that destroys or deforms; to force out by pressing or squeezing.

How did crush (the meaning above) become the word that we like someone? And how can we get over one?

For the first question, I (Catherine) don't have an answer. If you (the reader or readers) have an idea, please leave a comment!

For the second question, notice I did not say "And if we get a crush, how do we get over them" I said (or typed) "And how can we get over one". All of us will get one a one point. It's how we are created. If we didn't want like someone at one point, we wouldn't want to marry. And if we wouldn't want to marry, there would be no babies, no "miniatures" of our spouse. And if there are no babies, there are no humans. But the question is not who we will get a crush on, it's what we will do with it?

Here are some tips on how to get over a crush:

1. Don't Put Any Pictures of Your Crush In Your Room
Whether this means on the wall, in a frame, school picture and so on, don't hang the picture up or have it so you can see it. When you see the picture, you will think of the person and you might go back to the event that the picture happened. Then you will start getting thoughts like "Oh, I remember when ______ and I did ______ together! He was so sweet and nice!" or "He looks so handsome! Oh! He and I have the same color eyes!" (Seriously, I have heard a girl say this before!)

2. Don't Talk About Him to Your Friends
You might not like this, but girls have told me from experience that they got over a crush but when their friend asked how she and her crush were doing, she started thinking about him again. The friend did it unintentionally, but it still had the same effect. Avoiding talking to your friends about the "someone special" will help. Especially don't talk to your friends and call him your "boyfriend" because in your mind, that is what he will become.

You CAN however, ask them to pray for you. Ask them to pray that you keep your thoughts, words, and actions pure. But I would advise against telling them his name.

3. Be Practical
Does he fit all of your requirements? And if he does, think about this. If you are 20 or younger, you are not ready to get married, right?
And what about what your family thinks of him? Does your brother think he is a jerk? Does your sister think that he has a quality that is less than desirable in a future husband? Does your dad agree with having him as a future son-in-law? And what about your mom?

4. When You Think of Him, Pray
This point has helped may young ladies I have been around. Sarah Malley, in her book "Before You Meet Prince Charming" (a book I strongly recommend reading!) talks about reciting a scripture verse in your head (such as Matthew 5:8 or 1 Timothy 4:12). Another thing that I would recommend is have a prayer for someone when you think of your crush (and I don't mean praying for your crush).
For example, if someone you know is in the hospital, every time you think of your crush you can pray for the person in the hospital.

5. Don't Show Him You Like Him
Don't go up to him and say you like him. Don't start talking about crushes to him. Then he will start thinking of you as a crush (or girlfriend) and may decide that he likes you, but may not yet want to go as far as getting to know you as a future spouse. Don't give him your phone number so he can call/text you because this will also encourage the girlfriend/boyfriend thing. This might be hard for some, and easy for others, but remember your crush will go away sooner if you do this!


But what if I don't want to get rid of my crush?

First off, this thought is selfish.
If you are not old enough to be thinking of a husband, you are basically asking him to date you for no reason except for you to have fun NOW.

Second, the crush is distracting you from serving The King of Kings!
My family and I were sitting behind a group of teenagers with cell phones in Church. The pastor of our church was giving his sermon and the teens were obviously not paying attention. They were to busy texting and replying to texts from their boyfriend and girlfriend that they were missing the sermon. When the pastor asked us to pray with him, we could hear the clicking of their fingers tapping their cell phone's keyboard to text back a message. Now that I think back on it, the sermon was about being worshipers and not just observers on the outside. "Don't Just Go Though the Motions" was the theme of the whole sermon!

And third, a crush is not healthy if you are not old enough to be considering marriage.
It will chew away at you and direct your thoughts at that person instead of directing your thoughts at God, ways to serve Him, and others. Keeping it will only make it worse.

Crush- to force out by pressing or squeezing

So I suppose the word "crush" is correct for the term "I like someone". It forces (or squeezes) any thought of anyone else- The King or other wise- out of your head. It makes that person the center of your life.

Keep Praying and good luck to those who struggle!

Princess Catherine