"Ironic" in the Eyes of A Teenager (Part 3)

This post was written for one of our readers who had trouble understanding the post titled "Ironic", written by Princess Catherine.

This post was written by a good friend and fellow teenager Princess Alicia to help our reader(s) to be less confused.

This post is dedicated to anyone else who needs it and its encouragement and wisdom. Parents, feel welcome to read this too! :)

A note by Princess Catherine: This post was not done by myself (Catherine), Princess Izori, or Princess Melody. It was done by Princess Alicia, who I am still trying to author on this blog. If you enjoy it (like I did/do) please comment! :) - Princess Catherine ~*~



So what's the "Ironic" part about? Right; got a bit off topic.
The "Ironic" part is this; it's just really weird how we say our parents are holding us back from becoming our own person, when the truth of the matter is we're holding ourselves back! "WHAT?! I'm not holding myself back!" You might be saying (or yelling). Yeah, I said the same thing until I thought, really thought, about it. It's true we hold ourselves back more than we know. And this is where the "It's OK to be different" comes in.

Have you heard the saying "Go with the flow"? I have, and that's exactly what I used to do and sometimes still do.
Have you ever tried to fit in with your friends? I know I have.
Why?
Because it's easier to go with the flow than against it, right?

I know it's hard being the only one doing something, even if it is just something simple like an outfit. But when we just do what everyone else does, are we trying to become our own person? No! Yet we blame our parents for actually trying to teach us things about responsibility that will help us become our own person, when really we don't have the guts to even wear different style clothes than everyone else! Think about it. Ironic, isn't it? The other thing is; we will listen to our friends and cave in under peer pressure, but don't want to listen to our parents who have our best interest in mind.
If your friends are pressuring you to do something, do you really think they have your best interest in mind?

When our parents tell us to do something we are quick to say "I need to make my own decisions!" or "My parents are trying to run my life!" But our parents (not our friends) are the ones who provide for us and take care of us. Even so, we'll listen to our friends over them! What happened to "I want to make my own decisions!"? Ironic, isn't it?

So, why are we so scared to be ourselves?
Because of rejection? Being uncool, unpopular, or thought poorly of? Why? I can't answer that for you, but for me it's because of rejection. I love being accepted (who doesn't?), but when someone doesn't really like me it feels like someone punched me in the stomach!
But I have figured out a secret; not everyone is going to like me (duh, right?)!
It doesn't matter what they think; that's their problem! Be yourself, mo matter what anyone thinks!
If you aren't yourself you'll be playing this big game of pretend. You'll be pretending to be this person you're not. Many people play this game, but (as they can probably tell you) it's not a fun one. Not only is it OK to be different (it's OK to go against the flow), but it's GREAT to be different!
Different talents, different abilities, and different styles God has given us make us all unique and special. Of course, that may not help when you're then only one who believes something, or you're the only one with that style of outfit, but remember to always be yourself!

You're wonderful the way God made you! No mistakes! HE loves you just the way He made you!

So, as teenagers (or any age), let's try hard to......

1. Obey Your Parents
Obeying your parents is rewarding! God will reward you, and your parents will trust and respect you more each day!

2. Show Responsibility and Maturity
You will gain freedom and trust.

3. Talk to Your Parents
You will get more out of it than you think and it will allow both you and your parent(s) to see both sides of the story.

4. Be Yourself No Matter What!
Become your own person with the loving guidance of your parents. Don't hold yourself back and then blame it on your parents!

5. Trust God and obey HIM
HE will do great things in your life, wait and see! One of my favorite verses is Jeremiah 29:11:
" 'For I know the plans I have for you.' Declares the LORD 'Plans to prosper and not to harm you. Plans to give you and hope and a future.' "


Princess Alicia

"Ironic" in the Eyes of A Teenager (Part 2)

This post was written for one of our readers who had trouble understanding the post titled "Ironic", written by Princess Catherine.
This post was written by a good friend and fellow teenager Princess Alicia to help our reader(s) to be less confused.
This post is dedicated to anyone else who needs it and its encouragement and wisdom. Parents, feel welcome to read this too! :)

A note by Princess Catherine: This post was not done by myself (Catherine), Princess Izori, or Princess Melody. It was done by Princess Alicia, who I am still trying to author on this blog. If you enjoy it (like I did/do) please comment! :) - Princess Catherine ~*~

Most everyone wants to be independent, right? Well you can be. I have figured out the strategy that most parents use with us teenagers. Be responsible in the small things that your parents trust you with, and slowly you will see them give you more and more freedom. Here's an example.

Your friend invites you to go clothes shopping with her and her mom at the local mall. Your mother says it's fine as long as you don't get anything you know she would not approve of and as long as you're back by nine. So you go into the mall, and then into a store. Your friend's mom pulls two skirts off the rack and tells you and your friend to try them on. You do, but once you try it on you know your mother would hate it because it is way too short. Your friend's mom says it looks perfect on you, and your friend agrees. And they say they will even buy it for you!

This story could end two ways. Let's look at Option 1.......

You say "OK! Mom will understand, after all, I didn't buy it!" And once you get home and your mother sees the skirt, she is angry and disappointed. You say you didn't buy it, but regardless you still got the skirt even though you knew your mom would disapprove. So next time your friend asks if you want to go shopping with her and her mom, your mother will not let you go. You go to your room, saying (or yelling) that your mom is being unfair.

Not the best option, huh? Let's look as Option 2.......

You respectfully tell your friend and your friend's mom that your mother would not approve of the skirt. Your friend and your friend's mom then insist that you get it, but you tell them (still respectfully) that you don't want to get it, even though you appreciate the their offer to buy it for you. The next time your friend asks if you want to go shopping with her and her mom, your mother says you're allowed as long as you don't get anything you know she wouldn't approve of and as long as you're back by ten.

So you see how it works? Love is something that is given for free, but you have to earn trust and freedom. So, in Option 1 you disobey your mother (which is going against the Bible according Colossians 3:20, Ephesians 6:1, and Exodus 20:12) and next time your friend asks your mother says you can't go. You say it's unfair, but is it? I mean really, is it? Think about it. Put yourself in your mother's place. She tells you not to get anything you know she wouldn't approve of and, well, you come home with something she disapproves of. The to top it off you say (or yell) she is being unfair.

Do you like it when you tell someone not to do something and they do it anyway? What if next time you didn't trust that person as much as before and they said you were being unfair? Is it just me, or is that just a little off?

We as teenagers always say our parents should put themselves in our place. Well, we can't expect our parents to do something we don't want to do ourselves, so let's take a second and put ourselves in their place (or at least look at the other side of the story). They are trying to help us become a better, wiser, more successful, and over all happier person. All we are doing is constantly complaining about what they don't let us do, and how it's "Like so unfair!" But think about what they do allow us to do. I mean, we don't always get to do everything we want (and sometimes that is a good thing!), but parents don't get to do what they want all the time either.

Sometimes we forget that our parents have feelings too. They have places they want to go and things they want to do, but they don't do them or go there because of us. They make sacrifices for us.

Go ahead. Say "My parents get to do whatever they want and go where ever they want whenever they want to!" But think about it; how many times have you wanted your mom or dad to take your somewhere, and they didn't feel up to it or wanted to do something else instead? But instead of whining and complaining "I always take you! Why don't we just do this once for me?" they say "OK." and go along. I know my mom has done that for me many, many times! Yet, when she asks me to go somewhere I don't want to or don't feel like going to right that moment, I'm usually quick to ask "Can't I just stay home?" or "I don't want to go, can't we just stay?" And here's the really bad part; sometimes I get mad if my mom makes me do what she wants to do.

It is so, so easy to be selfish. I mean like really easy. And taking us places is definitely NOT the only time our parents make sacrifices for us. Look at our every day lives, like that plate you just ate off of, did you wash it or did one of your parents? Those clothes you are wearing, did you wash them? The grass you just walked though and tracked though the house, did you mow the lawn? Did you clean up the floor? That new IPod or MP3 player you're listening to, did you buy it? Or what about that Wii, X-Box, Nintendo DS, PS3, or laptop you have and play/use, did you save your money though hard work to earn it?

You probably do some of these things for yourself, but who picks up the slack when you don't. Yeah, that's right, our parents. Don't you think they would rather do other things with their time and money? If nothing else, don't you think they at least deserve respect, or a thank you. I mean, come on! After doing all that for someone I would at least want a thank you. Trust me, I know it's hard to think of all this when we want to do something our way, and our parents' way seems unfair. Well it's true it's unfair. We are being unfair to our parents. We take them for granted, or at least I do.

So what's the "Ironic" part about? Right; got a bit off topic.
The "Ironic" part is this; it's just really weird how we say our parents are holding us back from becoming our own person, when the truth of the matter is we're holding ourselves back! "WHAT?! I'm not holding myself back!" You might be saying (or yelling). Yeah, I said the same thing until I thought, really thought, about it. It's true we hold ourselves back more than we know. And this is where the "It's OK to be different" comes in.

"Ironic" in the Eyes of A Teenager (Part 1)

This post was written for one of our readers who had trouble understanding the post titled "Ironic?", written by Princess Catherine.

It is dedicated to anyone else who needs it and its encouragement and wisdom. Parents, feel welcome to read this too! :)

"That skirt's too short, you look too grown up! Go take it off! You got a 'C' on your report card! You should have been studying instead of going to the movies with your friends! If you don't pull those grades up you're not going anywhere for a week! If you don't clean your room you're not getting the car this weekend!"

Have your parents ever said any of these things to you? How about these?

"I just don't feel comfortable with you being there by yourself. Someone has to go with you." or "You're too young to be doing that! If there is no chaperon, your can't go!"

Why? What do they talk to us like we're kids? They totally don't understand us! I mean, if they did they wouldn't treat us like this, right? We are old enough to be just a little independent! Can't they give us some space? They just want to keep us from becoming our own person, right? Wrong.

Once my friend and I were at an amusement park with her mom. It had started to rain, so we decided it was a good time to take a lunch break. Once we were finished eating, we realized it had stopped raining. We were so excited to get to our next ride, we started running ahead of her mom.
"Hey girls!" She called out. "Come back here!"
My friend and I, frustrated and anxious, walked over to her.
"What?" My friend asked and then added "The ride's this way."
Her mom smiled and said "There were two gangs right there and they looked like they were going to fight. You girls were about to walk right between them."
"But were didn't see them, how could we not see them?" I asked.
My friend's mom smiled again "I know you didn't see them. That's why I'm here."

I wonder how many other times parents can foresee things we teenagers can't. My friend's mom was not trying to hold us back from where we wanted to go, she was just making sure we got there safely. That's why God gave us parents.

They are not trying to keep us from becoming independent or becoming our own person (in fact, they want that too!), they just don't want us to get hurt unnecessarily or go down the wrong road in the process.

Of course for some of you knowing that might not help that much because sometimes regardless of our parents' motives it's hard to listen to them. But sometimes instead of checking our parents' motives, we need to check our own. We should want to obey and please our parents because that's what God asks. God said in Ephesians 6:1, and Colossians 3:20 to obey your parents. Exodus 20:12 says "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you." (bold added)

Now some of you might be saying/thinking "I thought this was supposed to be though the eyes of the teenagers!" Well it is. I am a teenager, and like most teenagers I don't always see eye to eye or agree with my parents, but time after time I find that my parents only want the best for me.

Most everyone wants to be independent, right? Well you can be. I have figured out the strategy that most parents use with us teenagers.

Actions Speak Louder than Words

In this culture, I (Izori) know from experience how hard it is to be a real princess when everyone else is not. I think everyone at one time has had an experience where they are looked on as being out of fashion and unpopular because they act differently from an impure culture.

Even when I was eight and nine years old, I have had people ask me, "Why do you wear a dress?" as if dresses were something to be looked down on. At those times, it's really hard to remember that being popular and cool in the world's eyes is not really important.

And there are some times when dresses, skirts, and modest clothing can be more practical than skimpy, tight-fitting clothing. How easy do you think it is to run in skintight jeans, or bend over in a cleavage showing shirt?

Being pure and dressing modestly effects others around you, like Princess Catherine has said in previous posts. If there is a pure minded young man standing on the sidewalk, and a girl in immodest clothing flounces by, the man's mind will be blemished. Acting pure will rub off on your friends when you are around them, and you will also get a very good reputation by acting responsible, mature, and honorable, not frivolous and loose.

All of this--acting and dressing modestly--witnesses amazingly. Actions definitely speak louder than words, and you would be surprised how much they speak. People tend to notice when you go against the norm of today.

My mom baked a whole bunch of bread one day, so much that we had to give some away. One of our neighbors, who baby-sits for several other moms, was talking to one of her clients when my brother and I walked up with a loaf of bread. Because our neighbor and the lady who she was talking to were deep in conversation, we waited until they noticed us, instead of shouting over them to get their attention.

After we handed our neighbor the bread, her client remarked, "My, you're such patient children! My kids would never wait for us to stop talking like that!"

My brother and I hadn't even realized we had done something spectacular! We had just been trained to wait like that, and we hadn't given it a thought that we did. I am still amazed that we made such an impression on our neighbors client.

Does anyone else have a case when their actions spoke louder than their words?

In Christ,

Princess Izori

Proverbs 31: Part I, Trustworthy

A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
Proverbs 31:10-12

Proverbs 31 is a very good passage to memorize; it describes how to recognize a good wife. It says in the passage above that a good wife is 'worth far more than rubies'. Rubies are very valuable and precious, yet a noble wife is much more rare and valuable then them. It also says that her husband has full confidence in her, and lacks nothing of value. Apparently, a good wife is trustworthy, and her husband doesn't lose anything because of her foolishness.

A trustworthy woman would be trusted to go out shopping and not to come back with expensive, useless stuff. Her husband could trust her to use good judgement financially ( see verses 14-19 and other parts of Proverbs 31. I'll do a post on those later) and to always be faithful to him. How much good would a wife do if she isn't faithful, and instead brings trouble upon her husband? Not much.

A good way to practice being trustworthy is to prove that your wise. Use your money wisely, and also be a good friend, not a fair weather one. Then when you do get married, it'll be a lot easier.

More later, I have chores to do!

In Christ,

Princess Izori